Click here to read Part 1.

75. The Corbomite Maneuver- Kirk’s classic bluff from the episode of the same name. It worked so well the first time he even used it a second time in “The Deadly Years.” This is one of the great Trek examples of strategy winning a battle as opposed to who has the most fire power.

74. Guardian of Forever- “The City on the Edge of Forever” is widely argued as TOS’ best episode, and while I personally disagree with this (I would choose “Mirror Mirror” or “The Enterprise Incident” first) I always loved the Guardian. He was a big, mysterious, sentient doorway through time. I like that it was a different way to do time travel as opposed to sling-shotting around the sun, and the set-piece looked fantastic. He’s one of Trek’s most original cosmic entities.

73. Gorn- The Gorn is just too classic not to make the list. Kirk versus a big lizard– what more could you want? Until the last season of Enterprise in “In a Mirror, Darkly,” there had only been one appearance of a Gorn, and that was in TOS’ “Arena.” Yet everyone remembers it. I don’t know if it was the silly costume or what, but the Gorn has really stood the test of cultural memory– he’s up there with the tribbles in the category of Trek creatures a lot of people know about even if they aren’t Star Trek fans.

72. “All Good Things”- The last episode of TNG may have the most unintelligible technobabble in the series but it had also had everything else you could possibly want for the final ride: Picard jumping between the present, the future, and the first episode (“Encounter at Farpoint”), Q, and a closing scene where Picard finally joins the rest of the senior staff for a poker game. More than any other series, TNG is bookended; the first and last episodes are completely intertwined. For such an episodic show TNG has a very clear ending and it’s almost a shame it lead to movies… almost. Although “All Good Things” is certainly a better ending place for Picard’s crew than Nemesis.

71. Romulan ale- That blue, fantastic yet illegal drink starship Captains seem to always get their hands on. It’s one of those little cultural tidbits everybody remembers and it lead to that great McCoy line in The Wrath of Khan, “Beware Romulans bearing gifts.”

70. Spot and Porthos- Both Data’s cat and Archer’s dog helped make those characters feel more human. Spot is mostly memorable as a continuity error because his sex kept changing, but the cat also made some especially fun and memorable scenes– apparently he hated almost everyone except for Data. Porthos appears so often in Enterprise he feels almost like one of the main cast and his love for cheese is practically a running story arc throughout the series.

69. “In the Pale Moonlight”- The Dominion War episode of DS9 where Sisko is forced to do a number of underhanded things to bring the Romulans into the war. Unlike some of Archer’s darker moments which feel forced and out of character, when Sisko has a hand in killing a Romulan senator for the greater good, we the audience know it was wrong but are also sympathetic toward him– we ask ourselves if we may have done the same in his place. It’s one of my favorite ethical conundrums in Star Trek.

68. Communicator Pins- Used in all three 24^th century series, the communicator pin is a major trademark of Star Trek. It’s the natural progression from the flip-top communicators of TOS, which are basically modern cell phones now. They’re especially cool because they still feel pretty futuristic; you can tap it to activate it if you want to, but if you just start talking to someone else who’s wearing one, your pin will automatically know to transmit even if you didn’t tell it to.

67. “Year of Hell”- Probably the biggest and darkest Voyager episode. We get to see the ship almost completely crippled and follow the crew through an entire year as they try to stop Annorax from erasing them from history while they’re also barely surviving. The ending admittedly doesn’t make a great deal of sense, but by destroying the time ship Janeway somehow manages to erase all the damage that was done, and thus the two-hour epic we just watched never even happened. I don’t like that particular ending all the time, but I loved it here.

66. Romulan Warbird- One of the really distinctive ships in Trek. The TNG version is especially striking and even pretty menacing. It’s very often a big surprise when one decloaks out of nowhere. The Romulans are a species very much defined by their technology.

65. “Broken Bow”- Think what you want to about the rest of the series– we all naturally have our drastically different opinions about Enterprise– but for my money, this was a fantastic pilot. It sets up a Star Trek with technology much closer to our own and a crew that has to feel its way through every situation because no other humans have explored space before. For a moment it made Trek feel very fresh again, and while I really resent the Temporal Cold War I love the early style of the tech, the cramped feel of the ship, and the adventurous spirit of the crew.

64. Species 8472- I immediately loved this species because they weren’t humanoid and they didn’t have bumps on their foreheads. Being thrown way into the Delta Quadrant, I always thought it was a little silly that most species Voyager ran into were even more human-looking than a lot of TNG and DS9 races. Of course, these guys had to come from fluidic space, another plane of existence entirely… but still, decent CG for the day and a truly terrifying design for a TV budget. It was the one species that could defeat the Borg and they were an awesome enemy until it was decided in “In the Flesh” that they really weren’t so evil and the whole thing was just one big misunderstanding. They’d be higher on the list if it weren’t for that.

63. The Nexus- There are a lot of things I don’t like about Generations and I know the Nexus was a giant plot device… but it was a really cool plot device. I like the idea that there’s a place you could go and create your own reality– and it’s not like a holodeck. It really is very real. The ethical issue then is whether or not it’s real enough that you’re no longer responsible whatever you left back in reality. That idea created a fascinating and twisted villain in Tolian Soren.

62. The Tholian Web- The Tholians don’t just shoot your ship. They send a couple ships and build a big web to trap you in. That’s really bizarre and my favorite TOS space trap. It looks so cool that “Encounter at Farpoint” stole the design and made it the Q-Net.

61. Wormholes- Essential for Trek storytelling. The Gamma Quadrant wormhole is the temple of the Bajoran Prophets and it made it possible for the Star Trek part to make any sense at all in DS9’s title, considering it’s about a space station and not about exploring the galaxy. Wormholes are also used a lot in Voyager, maybe a little too much, but it was always fun when one would lead to the Alpha Quadrant because we could be pretty sure Voyager wouldn’t make it home and there was always some fun twist about what it really was. One time it was actually a giant space monster.

60. Kahless- He was essentially the Klingon equivalent of Jesus. The legend of Kahless establishes why Klingons are so devoted to honor and helps add credibility to the concept of a violent warrior race that could survive so long. He was invented in TOS but wasn’t really fleshed out until later TNG, and he even had a clone. The addition of religion into their culture made the Klingons far more interesting.

59. Klingon Bird of Prey- A lot like the Romulan warbird– cloakable and foreboding. It’s a little higher on the list because of the fun stuff they did with one in The Voyage Home, where we got to see it fly under the Golden Gate Bridge, land in the park and even hold a couple of whales.

58. Music- A lot of Trek characters play music and this ads a lot to their personalities. If Worf didn’t sing Klingon opera, he wouldn’t be Worf. Kim plays the obo, Riker plays the trombone, and Data plays the violin and probably everything else. Music has been the story drive for a number of episodes including “The Inner Light” with the Resicaan flute, “Lessons” where music allows us a surprisingly touching romance for Picard, and “It’s Only a Paper Moon” where the only thing that keeps Nog from a nervous breakdown after losing his leg is a jazz recording made by Vic Fontaine.

57. “Endgame”- The final episode of Voyager is excellent not only because it was huge– Borg Queen, future Janeway, the ship returning home– but it was also a pretty good end-all to Star Trek itself, or at least the 24^th century. The apparent destruction of the Borg and Voyager returning to the Alpha Quadrant gave the entire franchise closure. With the Borg gone, the Dominion War over and all this new futuristic technology at Starfeet’s fingertips, what new stories are there really to tell? Of course, Enterprise came next but it was a prequel and Nemesis really pales in comparison, both in plot and in heart.

56. Batleths- The Klingon sword of honor. These have become yet another iconic symbol for Trek, I think because they just look so different from weapons in any other sci-fi series. Like the Bird of Prey, these have helped to shape how we think of the Klingons. Batleths are practically as recognizable now as phasers and you can’t help but want to own one to display in your house.

55. “There are four lights”- This, except for “Make it so” is Picard’s most memorable line in TNG. I don’t know if it’s because he says it so many times or if we want to find something to laugh at in “Chain of Command” because it’s otherwise such a depressing and disturbing episode. To clear up the confusion fans often have, there really were four light– Gul Madrid tortured Picard by trying to make him say there were five lights. By shocking him whenever he’d say there were only four, he wanted to see if he could get Picard to really start seeing five. I get a chill every time I think about it.

54. The Xindi Conflict- After two seasons of independent episodes, Enterprise launched a 26 episode arc to try and boost ratings for its third season. I don’t think it really succeeded, but I certainly found much of that season to be quite gripping. The Xindi were really a fresh race for Trek, having five different races fighting for dominance, and the sphere network in the Delphic Expanse was a great mystery. More of the pieces are put together as the season goes on and the writers really follow through, eventually explaining everything and leaving no giant plot holes. This was the one time the show seemed to have a plan and knew exactly where it was going.

53. The Phoenix- Zefram’s Cochrine’s warp ship from First Contact. It helped us see a clear progression for ship technology. Its launch was quite epic and one of the most memorable images from any of the films.

52. Destruction of Enterprise D in “Generations”- This image was just a little more memorable. Unlike other ship destructions, we got to see the Enterprise drop out of the sky, go through a planet’s atmosphere, crash into the ground and scoot across it for a good long time before it finally came to a halt. It was especially impressive since it was done mostly (if not entirely) with model work.

51. Vic Fontaine- The hologram who was programmed to be sentient but unlike the Doctor, didn’t mind just being a hologram. He added a much-needed, lighter side to the last two seasons of DS9 and spiced up the show in an unusual but appropriate way. I’m a little biased because I happen to be a lover of jazz, but every time we see him we get to hear him sing and he’s fantastic. He became DS9’s Guinan in a lot of ways and he was ten times a better counselor than Ezri.

LLAP

-Cap’n Logan

Continue to part 3.

For their 100^th issue spectacular The Star Wars Insider took votes from fans and put together a list of the 100 Greatest Things About Star Wars Ever. I saw this issue at a store recently and thumbed through it. It’s kind of a neat idea and there are some very pretty pictures inside, but I noticed that many of the “greatest things about Star Wars” were things I had never heard of. What the heck is an E-Wing? I’ve seen all six films, so certainly the best things about the series would be things I’d heard of, right? No, of course not, because Star Wars fans are very serious about counting virtually everything that ever sported the Star Wars logo as canon– books, games, comics, everything. I suppose if you can consider all of this canon it really is a massive universe, but it’s a little much to expect fans to watch and read everything, especially since it’s all by so many authors there’s bound to be plenty of continuity errors. Heck, the new trilogy has enough to discuss for a good four or five hours.

I’m not knocking the idea but I have always felt that some die-hard Star Wars fans are a little in denial about the size of the franchise. It has a lot of merchandising, sure, but there’s only so much material on screen. As is probably obvious by now, I’m a much bigger Trek fan than I am a Wars fan. That’s not to say one is better than another– I feel that they aren’t comparable. They’re enjoyable on different levels. Star Wars is pure fantasy; it’s a ride, an action movie, a completely different universe than our own. It’s fun for the same reason Lord of the Rings is. That’s not to say it has no commentary whatsoever on today’s society but it certainly is more plot driven than character driven. Star Trek is an extension of the universe we’re already living in– the future of humanity. It’s fun because it has deep, three dimensional characters we can get inside the heads of while also exploring the galaxy.

While I don’t want to say Trek is better, it certainly is bigger. It’s been around longer and there is a lot more of it on screen– over 700 episodes and 10 films. It seems to me like it would lend itself better to a list like this even than Star Wars, so I felt it my duty to try to compile such a list. Keep in mind that I didn’t poll a massive fanbase like the Star Wars Insider– these are my own personal ideas. You’re bound to have items I didn’t even think of, or wish certain items were in different places on the list. Please share your thoughts! I’ll be posting this list in four parts– 25 a week. Here are my bottom 25 best things about Star Trek:

100. Chef– Enterprise’s running gag. We never see him (with the exception of his legs in “Catwalk” and Riker taking his place on the holodeck in “These Are the Voyages, but those don’t count). But we hear about him all the time. As the series progresses, he seems to have a character all his own, shaped only by passing conversation.

99. Spock Cursing– In Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home. Spock had just been reborn and re-educated after his death in Wrath of Khan, and this was a great way of illustrating his difficulties in fitting in with other humans again, especially in the 1980s where “no one pays attention to you unless you swear every other word” as Kirk puts it. “One damn minute, Admiral” is one of Spocks’ funniest lines ever.

98. Morn– A little like Chef, only we do see him from the first to the seventh season. The gag here is that he never says a word on screen but apparently never shuts up. He’s almost Quark’s bar’s mascot. He even gets his own episode, “Who Mourns for Morn” where he fakes his own death, and he is in less of it than in most episodes!

97. Gowron’s eyes– Gowron is one of the creepiest Klingons and also full of the most energy. His eyes get so big they almost pop out of their head and every time he does that, you can’t help but wonder if he’s going to kill someone.

96. Episodes so bad they’re good– Trek is filled with fantastic episodes, but you can’t make that many of anything and not have some duds. But some of these (especially “Spock’s Brain” and “Where Silence Has Lease”) are so bad, they’re among the most entertaining.

95. Picard maneuver– No, not the real Picard Maneuver. The one where he repeatedly pulls his uniform shirt down when he stands up. It happens so much you start actually watching for it. Riker does it quite a bit, too.

94. Shuttle accidents– Where would Trek plots be without these? A couple crew members in a shuttle, it crashes on a planet, the shuttle won’t fly and they have to find a way off. It’s one of the most over-used plots and comes up in every series, but often makes for interesting situations.

93. Cellular peptide cake with mint frosting– One of the most memorable images in all of Star Trek. Data has a dream program in “Phantasms” and in one of his dreams, he sees Troi as a cake and eats part of her. It’s very twisted and looks quite brilliant.

92. Orion slave girls– Okay, so Enterprise’s “Bound” was pretty awful, but they had to make the list because they’re so often associated with Trek. It’s interesting how everyone knows about them but they appear in so few episodes (until Enterprise, of course). You never know what will make an impact and what won’t. They appear in TOS’ original pilot and set the bar for what other aliens will look like later.

91. Geordi’s visor– Maybe some people still think it looks stupid but it was certainly one of those defining things about TNG. Not only did it allow a blind man to fly and then later be chief engineer of a starship, which was one of Roddenberry’s cooler ideas, but it showed just how great an actor Lavar Burton is. He had to act without showing any emotion in his eyes, and that’s not easy. It’s one of the major things that gave TNG its charm and made it look different than anything else on TV.

90. Transporter accidents– These made for some of the most fun episodes. It’s one of those contrived plot devices but I didn’t mind that too much if it lead to a good story. “Tuvix” is a good example, where a transporter accident merges Tuvok with Neelix and the ethical dilemma becomes whether or not restoring the two people will mean killing a third. “Second Chances” is another, in which we find there’s another Riker stranded on a planet years ago and the problem there is that they’re both the “real” Will Riker.

89. TOS fight music– Seen in “Amok Time,” “Arena,” and several other episodes. This is some of the most memorable music in the series and sticks with you after the first time you hear it.

88. Causality loops– Probably used a lot more than they should have been but fun almost every time. The first major one was in “Cause and Effect,” where a causality loop happens over and over throughout the episode and the Enterprise keeps exploding until Data figures out a way to send a message into the next loop to warn himself. Other smaller loops are used in Voyager and Enterprise.

87. Kang, Kor, and Koloth– These were the major, classic Klingons of TOS, seen separately in episodes like “The Trouble with Tribbles” and “Errand of Mercy.” They all came back together in DS9 and Kor got two more episodes later in the series. The same actors played them in both series, helping to knit the continuity together in a surprising way.

86. Enterprise E smashing into Scimitar– Nemesis is by far one of the worst Trek films, but being almost exclusively an action movie, it does have some of the best action. This was the first and only time we ever got to see Picard so desperate as to ram his ship into another, and though it wasn’t worth the weak story and continuity mistakes, it was pretty cool.

85. Bizarre viruses– Another of those plot devices that lead to interesting stories. These are especially nice because they give the doctors of each respective series a chance to be brilliant and they give us neat premises like de-evolving and rapid aging.

84. Worf and Dax– TNG spent some time trying to pair Worf up with someone and nothing ever quite panned out (he really had no chemistry with Troi at all). As unlikely a pair as it seemed, he and Dax had an interesting relationship and it was fun to see such opposites trying to make a relationship work. Their Klingon wedding in “You Are Cordially Invited” was one of the best moments in DS9.

83. Planet Killer– Also known as “The Doomsday Machine.” This thing makes the list because it was HUGE and I give TOS a lot of credit for trying to do such a big episode on the small screen. Granted, it looks a lot better in the Remastered version, but for it’s day it was quite menacing and cool to see Kirk go up against something that destroys entire worlds.

82. Brent Spiner playing 3 different roles in “Brothers”– “Brothers” isn’t the best Data episode, and Lore is a little less menacing than I would have liked to see him, but having Spiner play both of them plus their creator, Noonien Soong in one scene was incredible. It’s seamless and you have to keep reminding yourself that you’re watching the same actor play three parts in one scene.

81. “Unification”– Not only was it great to see Spock in scenes with Picard, but this episode was great because it tackled the idea of the Vulcans and Romulans coming together as one race again. After all the Klingon politics in TNG one couldn’t help but wonder when other races would get their turn. The idea was never completely fleshed out, unfortunately, but this episode gave us the sense that not all Romulans were paranoid and manipulative and I was glad to see the juxtaposition of the two races at once.

80. Shakespeare in Star Trek– This is often considered to be the worst part about Star Trek VI (when will Chang stop quoting Hamlet??) and I’ll admit, it’s a little overdone, but I like it overall. Shakespeare had a lot of themes in his plays that coorelate to Star Trek, among other literature, and I like that the writers acknowledged that. There are a lot of Shakespeare references in TNG as well.

79. MACOs– This may be a peculiar thing to put on the list but I was always impressed with Enterprise for putting military personnel on the NX-01, once it went on a military operation (stopping the Xindi weapon). In later Trek, Starfleet always seems to be both exploratory and military but in the 22^nd century, there is still a separate military on Earth. This also gave Enterprise the chance to explore new things, namely with the conflict between Reed and Major Hays, and being the fifth series in a long line of Star Trek, I was always impressed when it found new things to try.

78. Nazis– Trek writers seem to have a fascination with Nazis and somehow they end up being part of the some of the best episodes. “Patterns of Force” is the best Earth-like planet episode of TOS where a starship Captain thinks he can solve all the problems of a planet by turning it into Nazi Germany. And then in Enterprise, the NX-01 suddenly being transported to an altered history where the Nazis were winning WWII was one of the best cliffhangers I’ve ever seen.

77. Self-destruct– It’s another formulaic tactic but it always adds urgency to an episode. Whenever the Captain puts the ship on auto destruct, you can always be fairly sure the situation will be resolved seconds before the ship explodes and the destruct will be shut down, but it still gives an intensity to a scene that you only get from other near-destructive circumstances (fighting the Borg, having to eject the warp core, etc). And sometimes, like that beautiful maneuver by Kirk in Star Trek III, the ship really does explode and that’s always spectacular.

76. The many faces of Jeffrey Combs– Combs has played some six characters in Star Trek and two of them in the same episode. He’s a big asset to Star Trek, playing some of the best recurring roles including Brunt and Weyoun in DS9 and Shran in Enterprise. It’s too bad Enterprise didn’t run another season because Shran would have been added to the main cast.

LLAP

-Cap’n Logan

 Continue to Part 2