Posts Tagged ‘bloodsport’

Best Action Movie Training Montages Ever

Wednesday, June 4th, 2008

You know you’ve seen them and you know when they’re coming. It’s the patented training montage familiar to any action flick of the 80’s and 90’s. Maybe it’s the drama of the scene, maybe it’s the determination of the hero or maybe it’s the incredibly cheesy music that accompanies them. Regardless, training montages are just as famous as the movies themselves and will continue to be remembered, cherished and… mocked for years to come.

So let’s stop wasting time and get on with the list of the best action movie training montages ever.

Bloodsport (1988)

Bloodsport’s montage is spectacular and has everything that a good montage should – an old yet wise teacher, scenes of torturous training, ridiculous determination music and lastly the student becoming the teacher. Oh, and of course one of the most ridiculous training sequences during the montage (fighting blindfolded) ultimately comes back to pay off in the end when Van Damme gets temporarily blinded by Chong Li. Looks like it was a good thing he managed to train specifically for that scenario. Bloodsport has many more montages throughout the film including the montage of all the fighters training for the tournament as well as the montage during the actual tournament, yet Van Damme’s training montage will forever be classic.

Perhaps you’ll recall in this scene of the montage where Van Damme actually rips down the tree to which he is tied. Hey, they don’t call him the Chong Li killer for nothing!

Here’s a clip of Van Damme’s awesome training montage. Sit back, relax and prepare to be amazed…or to laugh?

 

Kick Boxer (1989)

Since we’re already on the topic of Van Damme montages let’s just slide right into Kickboxer. What’s there to say about Kickboxer other than it’s nearly a Bloodsport clone with a different setting and different characters? However, that doesn’t stop it from earning a spot on this list. Once again, Van Damme is caught in a montage for what seems like the entire movie – this movie starts out in a montage just like Bloodsport for God’s sake. If you can’t remember anything about this movie I hope you at least didn’t forget about the final fight scene with gloves made of glass shards – priceless.

Hard to Kill (1990)

Now, I’ve never been much of a Seagal fan, other than maybe a couple of his movies, namely Under Siege and Hard to Kill. It could be because he always looks the exact same in all his movies from the 80’s up to now (although he has gotten wider), maybe it’s because he has that ridiculous ponytail, or maybe it’s the fact that he talks in a low whisper attempting to sound wise and that he continually looks constipated. Regardless of my Seagal bias, Hard to Kill earns a spot on this countdown. The montage is this flick shows Seagal learning how to perform basic life functions again after awakening from a coma. I have to say that it’s pretty funny watching Seagal hone his martial arts skills while getting nursed back to health by Kelly LeBrock, a.k.a. Lisa from Weird Science. And what’s better than the actual montage…how about the entire synopsis of the movie written on the DVD’s front cover. Go ahead and look for yourself, you deserve a good laugh. It says, “He’s L.A. Detective Mason Storm. Three hired assassins left him for dead. And he’s waited seven years to even the score.” Once again this is priceless action movie history we’re reminiscing over.

Team America World Police (2004)

Honestly, what could be better than an action movie montage than a montage the mocks all action montages. If you haven’t seen the South Park creators’ Team America I suggest you youtube this montage – lucky for you I’ve already provided the link to it below. It pays humble tribute to all montages before it while completely making fun of them at the same time. The lyrics to the song that plays during the montage even instructs the viewer how to execute a proper montage in an action movie. For example, “If you fade out in a montage, it seems like more time has passed.” This montage, nay, this movie is hilarious.

Karate Kid (1984)

I don’t know what it is about The Karate Kid that makes it such a classic action movie. It could be the joy of watching Ralph Macchio (who should be on one of those where are they now TV shows) beat up people, it could be watching Ralph Macchio act tuff, it could be watching Ralph Macchio win the girl or it could be the ridiculous way in which Ralph Macchio expresses all forms of emotion and dialogue, whatever it may be, we can rest assured that it has something to do with Ralph Macchio. The montages are pretty good in this movie, especially the scenes where Daniel-son is balancing on the stump at the beach perfecting his patented finishing kick; however, The Karate kid’s brightest moment is when Daniel-son is doing all the chores for Mr. Miyagi. Who would have thought that washing the car, sanding the deck and painting the house could teach you karate? If that really was the case, then I think there would be a lot more ass kicking in the world because everyone would know karate.

Kill Bill: Vol 2 (2004)

The montage in Kill Bill: Vol 2 will go down in movie montage history because of the ridiculousness and humor of Pai Mei (the long-bearded teacher). I mean, the Kill Bill movies aren’t what I’d necessarily call realistic, especially the fight scenes, yet I’ll never forget when I first saw Pai Mei jump on top of Uma Thurman’s sword – ridiculous and awesome rolled into one, big sexy sandwich. The coolest part about this montage is that it has that sense of cheesiness simply because it’s a Quentin Tarantino movie and he loves to go over-the-top, but it doesn’t consist of the ultra corny music that accustoms earlier action movie montages.

Kill Bill…Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon… or just plain ridiculous?

Rocky IV (1985)

Before I say anything about Rocky IV, I must attribute its training montage as the greatest action movie montage of all time. Not only do we see the Italian Stallion training in the harsh winter of the USSR, but we also get to see his opponent, Ivan Drago, train in his uber high-tech training facility. I also think that during this montage Rocky and Drago are competing to see who is the most over dramatic grunter. I’ve never heard so many grunts in such a short time span before. Oh well, anything can happen in a montage.

However, other than the movie’s montage, this flick portrays two other major events. First, we get to see the modern day version of David and Goliath, and secondly, we get to see Rocky Balboa single-handedly defeat communism. What more could you ask for?

 “Mush Rocky…Mush!”

“Uhhh, yous should shuts yo mouth Paulie, and uhh be mores nicer to yos sista you know dat? You gotta big moutha Paulie.”

Well there you have it, my list of some of the best action movie training montages ever. If you disagree with some of my choices or think that I left some important ones out, drop me a comment and let me know. As always, thanks for reading.

-Dillon (D-dub)