I See…Dead People?
When I was just a little kidlet, I had an imaginary friend named Kinchell. I am told, though I do not remember, that Kinchell was as real to me as the kitchen sink, to the point where I would break into tears if my big brother “sat” on her or if I was told that she had to leave because it was time for us to eat dinner. I often tried to get her invited to these dinners, but she had to have her own plate and her own food, because in my world, she was no different than you and I, except I was the only one who could see her.
Any pediatrician or childhood development specialist will tell you that having imaginary friends is just one of those phases many kids go through. Like teething, it is just a natural progression of their development and should be humored, if not fostered. Imagination and its companion, creativity, are positive pieces of the personality, and should be worked on, just as we work on reading skills or sharing or any of the other vital skills kids need to develop. But there is another line of thought out there regarding the phenomenon of the imaginary friend, and it is far more controversial than the explanation given above.
There are a growing number of people out there who have come to believe, based on their own experiences as children as well as their experiences as parents, that the reason children believe in these imaginary friends so vehemently (as well as ghosts and the boogie man), is because they are really there, and the kids are really seeing them. The theory goes that all human beings are born with a kind of psychic/spiritual openness that, through time, closes as we grow up in a world that does not acknowledge and in fact discourages that openness. When our parents told us the boogie man was not real or that the man in the closet was just in our imagination , they were essentially, albeit unknowingly, training us to shut out that aspect of our reality until, eventually, we became closed off to the spirit world in whole.
Now I know this notion sounds a bit odd, or a little “woo-woo” as my mom would say (whose imaginary friend was Timothy Lutus, just so you know), but there are a number of reasons this idea kind of stuck in my head and got me thinking. One interesting thing is that I have always been fascinated by the number of spirit photographs in existence that have children or babies as the intended subjects of the photos. There are a lot of them out there on the web, and it always gives me a little chill to see these orbs and mists around these innocent little ones. Another thing that caught my attention is what I have noticed about those people I know who are psychic or spiritually sensitive. The notion about them is that they too had this openness about them as children, but that they were a bit more obstinate about their belief in what they were seeing and simply didn’t buy it when they were told that it was all in their head. In that way, rather than shutting down this openness, they were able to develop it and maintain it as adults. What I have noticed about these people is that, archetypically speaking, they tend to be extroverted intuitives. The extroversion puts them “out there” and allows for open exchanges, and the intuition allows for soulful feeling and awareness. Put the two together, and you can see why they might be more susceptible to experiencing psychic and spiritual phenomenon.
So what do you do when you are a parent and your child starts experiencing these things? As a mom, I know that I defaulted to the same “it’s not real” speech my mother gave me, but now I wonder if that was the right approach. Others would say that if you want to keep the spirit door open for your child, you should speak to the spirits on the child’s behalf: if it’s an imaginary friend the child is comfortable with, treat it with respect, and if it’s something that is scaring the child, ask it to leave the child alone. Only you will know what approach is in line with your family’s values and beliefs, but I suppose it never hurts to be armed with information, woo-woo or otherwise.
I have always found it odd that the only memories I have about my imaginary friend are from the end of her existence in my life. At that point, I remember my parents telling their friends about Kinchell, but I also remember that I no longer believed in her, but I kept up pretenses for a while because they all thought it was so darn cute. The rest of the memories are gone, so I cannot personally say whether I really was seeing someone, as I had insisted at the time, or if I always knew it was just pretend. Whatever the truth may be, I simply find it interesting to hear different perspectives on the matter, and thought someone else out there, like you, might too.
Yours in this life and the next!
GhOsTwRiTeR KiM
Tags: children, ghosts, imaginary friends, parenting, psychics, spirits
June 3rd, 2008 at 8:25 pm
Interesting read. I definitely think there is something beyond our physical bodies. When my sister and I were younger (around 6-8 years old), we spotted something strange coming out of our parent’s bedroom. Our neighborhood had lost power and my mother was in the back with the electrician. We were doing cartwheels (ha, ha) in the living room and noticed a glowing yellowish human-shaped figure (think of the AOL man, it’s silly but it’s a good representation) stepping out of our parent’s room into our long hallway (we have one of those hallways that stretch a ways and split into multiple rooms (think of ‘The Shining’ type of hallways but not that long).
Either my sister or I muttered a gasp of some sort and caused it to turn its ‘head’ towards us. After that, we just freaked out and ran to get our mom; of course, by the time we returned to show her, it was gone. The interesting thing is our alter for Buddha (my parents are Buddhist) was located in my parent’s room at the time. My mother’s first impression was that it was a car’s lights, but that didn’t make any sense since that room is next to our backyard, which is fenced and isn’t the closest thing to our street. Plus, the figure was shaped as a person. I guess the good thing about being at an age where you can remember this stuff, not to mention a sibling witness, is that at least one knows something exists beyond the lives we currently hold.